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Status Quo Bias

​ I’ve always yearned for a friendship where I didn’t have to explain myself, because I wanted you to know me in my entirety—whole and all. I’ve always wanted that kind of closeness. I ached for the kind of familiarity that didn’t ask questions, because you already KNEW. I wanted to bask in the comfort of knowing that I didn’t have to explain myself, because you already knew me. I wanted to be oblivious to everything else. Even your toxic traits, because I didn’t want to start over again. It was like playing my favourite song on repeat, even though there were so many other songs out there. I knew there might be something better, something new I could love just as deeply—but I didn’t reach for it. I stayed . Because this one was familiar. Because this one was mine. That’s exactly how I felt about you. I didn’t want to start over with someone else. I didn’t want to explain my childhood to a stranger. I didn’t want to learn a new person’s favourite colour. I didn’t want to figure out some...
Recent posts

Everyone WANTS me DEAD

​ Everyone wants me dead and cold. They want my voice silenced and heard only where voices echo in the darkness. They first want to rip me apart, pull my heart out, and utterly shatter my soul. Why am I quiet when I am predicted to scream? The fury burns red-hot in their minds as they watch me completely disappoint them with my silence. The version of myself they created in their heads is too daring for them to contain. They want me to yell, to scream. They want to see me in pain. They hand me knives disguised as lessons, but I sharpen myself with them into something—someone unignorable. They want me to take full responsibility for events beyond my control and apologise for mistakes I’m not even aware of. That, my dears, is manipulation in the highest form. You might not notice it because it often wears familiar faces and hides behind good intentions. Learn to point out emotional abuse and mental violence early. Don’t wait until you’re completely submerged in it. SPEAK UP ....

Choose yourself. Everyone else is taken

It’s difficult being the empathetic friend. The one who reaches out when nobody does. The one who over-texts, overthinks, and over-explains. The one who claps the hardest when the world is silent. Being that person often means loving loudly and getting quiet responses. And honestly, that contrast is exhausting.  You naturally give warmth and make an effort, but what you receive alternates between silence, distance, and half-attention. Over time, that imbalance teaches you to pull back. Not because you want to, but because constantly giving without being met hurts. A lot. When this cycle continues, you realise that you have never been truly cared for. You gradually allow the world’s ugliness to ruin your beautiful soul. You transition. First, you’re angry. Then you’re indifferent. Nonchalant. A shell of your own spark. Next, you slowly shrink yourself— barely alive and just surviving. You stop caring and lose interest in everything else.  Instead of wallowing in self-pity and a...

Nostalgia and Memories

There's this ache in remembering; recalling what life was before the decisions we made. Remembering how free and innocent your thoughts were and how soulful the music on the radio was when it was time to dance to the tunes of a particular advert. Memories are haunting. You want to remember, and you want to forget. You want to sieve them out accordingly; the bad, the good and the ugly. But they are not programmed like that. They are an integral and sacred part of us that reminds us of who we once were. Suddenly, your perfectly manicured fingernails find their way to the lines you’ve used to measure your height since you were five. An old photograph you stumble upon while cleaning out your room reminds you of the moment you refused to smile, because your slice of cake at your brother's three-year-old birthday was the smallest. Maybe you're just an old soul who never let go of things, and that's really fine. Every vintage piece strikes a reminder of something that was, or ...

Trauma

Pain taught me how to— It still feels familiar; the hailing of the tricycle, the fear, the scream that erupted from my lips the moment everything became much clearer. I always want to cry about the loss, but there are sincerely no tears left to cry. How I slept so peacefully that night was a huge miracle. How I managed to receive calls and even crack jokes the next day is something I can't truly explain. I hate pity so much, hence, I moved on. I smiled halfheartedly to people who sincerely reached out and consoled me for the loss. I gave an equal smile to people who riled their losses on pictures they were supposed to take and the others who sympathized out of necessity. It's the thoughts that count anyway. I had never been the same person after that day. I had refused to go out with any device on me again, daring the incident to happen again. I became extremely cautious of tricycles, and will always choose a bus as an alternative. Not that it was a better choice anyway. But th...

Subjective Friendships and Toxic Love

Nothing is forced; not friendships, not love. When nothing comes naturally and everything feels strange and uneasy, then it's not for you. Don't bother wasting time. Friendship is a two sided thing, and when you feel like you're doing more than is expected of you, then it takes a whole new name, and that is suddenly not friendship anymore. While no one is entirely perfect, I believe friends are meant to complete each other. You start where the person ends, and it's all rainbow and sunshine. When you become scared of telling how you feel about something to avoid being criticized, suddenly fidgy about telling secrets, to avoid being held in public shame; that, my friend is a sham of friendship and not in it's entirety. Friendships should not be subjective. You should not be a third party and feel inferior when you are with someone. A friend doesn't talk to you with any mannerism of their choices simply because they can. They don't say stinging hurtful words to...

Heartache

Has your heart ever ached so badly, that you wished you could unzip your chest to heal yourself? You cry so hard and wish the person who caused you pain could just see how broken you are. You hoped it was a bad dream you could wake up from. How do you look up to your screen and find out that the one person you care about is not responding anymore and is ignoring you? That person no longer listens to you like the world paused to hear you speak.  Heartbreak will make you feel like your heart has been torn out of your body and folded inside out. It is a loud hum of chaos . Then suddenly, you wish you never loved at all and you never cared one bit. You see the light leave your eyes and the world becomes a shade darker. Heartbreak is worse than a broken bone; because a broken bone gets cast and a crutch. He was your first, and you were determined to make him your last. He was everything you wanted. He was there. Always there, and suddenly he wasn't. You did all you could, but he left yo...