I’ve always yearned for a friendship where I didn’t have to explain myself, because I wanted you to know me in my entirety—whole and all. I’ve always wanted that kind of closeness. I ached for the kind of familiarity that didn’t ask questions, because you already KNEW. I wanted to bask in the comfort of knowing that I didn’t have to explain myself, because you already knew me. I wanted to be oblivious to everything else. Even your toxic traits, because I didn’t want to start over again. It was like playing my favourite song on repeat, even though there were so many other songs out there. I knew there might be something better, something new I could love just as deeply—but I didn’t reach for it. I stayed . Because this one was familiar. Because this one was mine. That’s exactly how I felt about you. I didn’t want to start over with someone else. I didn’t want to explain my childhood to a stranger. I didn’t want to learn a new person’s favourite colour. I didn’t want to figure out some...
Everyone wants me dead and cold. They want my voice silenced and heard only where voices echo in the darkness. They first want to rip me apart, pull my heart out, and utterly shatter my soul. Why am I quiet when I am predicted to scream? The fury burns red-hot in their minds as they watch me completely disappoint them with my silence. The version of myself they created in their heads is too daring for them to contain. They want me to yell, to scream. They want to see me in pain. They hand me knives disguised as lessons, but I sharpen myself with them into something—someone unignorable. They want me to take full responsibility for events beyond my control and apologise for mistakes I’m not even aware of. That, my dears, is manipulation in the highest form. You might not notice it because it often wears familiar faces and hides behind good intentions. Learn to point out emotional abuse and mental violence early. Don’t wait until you’re completely submerged in it. SPEAK UP ....